


Code: We Have A Problem

by MistbornHero, Penndragon27



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Community: pod_together, Fluff, Getting Together, Megamind Doesn't Understand Feelings, Multi, Podfic, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes, minion POV, walkie-talkies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-09-23 04:43:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20334262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistbornHero/pseuds/MistbornHero, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penndragon27/pseuds/Penndragon27
Summary: “Code I hate them.”“Code what happened?”“I was trying to wallow and then they just showed up and started strangling me!”“What?!”“And they didn’t even do it right! They ignored my neck and just… wrapped their arms around me, it was revolting.”





	Code: We Have A Problem

**Author's Note:**

> Party favour for pod_together 2019!

**Length:** 14:50

**Format:** MP3 & Streaming

**Download File:** [GoogleDrive](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rdea-IPyWugBdnX1ZBkG9uHgDuzZBzib/view?usp=sharing) | [Dropbox](https://www.dropbox.com/s/8zba2ulkhs1gtrv/CodeWeHaveAProblem.mp3?dl=0)

Minion should not have been surprised when he was bothered for the tenth time that day.

“Minion? Come in! Code I have a problem!”

“Code what is it?”

Megamind was frantic, but Minion knew that whatever it was, it would not require him needing to panic, or even to get up from his very comfortable seat.

“It’s Roxanne Richie! Last time she said my traps were too predictable and I can’t have that! I need something bigger, better. Something… **sensational**!” 

“I’m sure she’ll love whatever you make her.”

“She’s not supposed to love it! She needs to fear it!”

Minion paused and waited, knowing Megamind could feel his expectant look.

“Alright fine,” Megamind caved. “It’s just… it’s her 100th capture and it’s a big deal. I need everything to go smoothly. I don’t want her to laugh. Or Metroman! Oh goodness, what if Metroman laughs?”

Minion picked up a magazine, flipping through it as he listened to the same worries he’d heard for many months.

“Sir, you’ve known Roxanne for a long time and Metroman even longer. You know what they like, what they don’t like. I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

“Code you’re no help!”

Finally there was silence.

***

Roxanne’s latest capture had gone as expected; Meaning she didn’t care and Metroman saved her basically immediately. One would think he’d have more trouble with the pit of acid, but Megamind forgot about the whole ‘flying’ thing. 

[radio crackle]

“What do you think Roxanne meant when she said I’d made her day?”

Minion picked up the radio. “Probably exactly what she said.”

“So you don’t think she was terrified of the tiger?”

“Maybe if you had waited for it to grow up a bit, get some fangs.”

“But the bigger tiger didn’t fit in my bag!”

Minion went to clean his Megamind’s desk and paused at what was on it.

“Um, why is there a card here? And a box of chocolates?”

“Well, unlike _some people, _Roxanne and Metroman didn’t forget the 100th capture!”

“But isn’t it only Roxanne’s 100th capture? Why would Metroman celebrate that?”

“Well, why else would he give me chocolates?”

Minion would’ve facepalmed if he wasn’t worried about breaking his glass with the force of his frustration.

“Metroman just... bought you chocolates? For no reason?”

“No, for the 100th capture, keep up! Come down to my lab! Code time to invent something new!”

“Code I’m on my way.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Code I hate them, remember?”

Minion put the radio in his pocket.

“Code I don’t think you do,” he said to the empty room.

***

Minion picked up the radio about two seconds before Megamind started speaking.

“Code I hate Roxanne and Metroman!”

“Code of course you do, sir.”

“Roxanne was not where she was supposed to be for her next capture!”

“Why not?”

“She was reporting somewhere else last minute! Some old restaurant that’s being closed down!”

“These things happen.”

“Well, they shouldn’t. I know what I must do.”

“We’ll capture her tomorrow?”

“Yes, but first we have to save that restaurant!”

“What?”

Megamind spoke slowly, as though explaining to a child. “It’s her favourite restaurant. I can’t have her going to report there every time it’s in trouble!”

“But if it’s closing down-”

“Get the invisible car, Minion! It’s time for Code threaten the landlord!”

Minion would’ve answered, but instead he just went to get the car.

***

Minion walked into the kitchen and promptly walked out, figuring it was better to talk to Megamind from the safety of his radio.

“Um, what are you doing?”

“Code I’m trying to bake!”

“Code why?”

There was a loud crash over the comm. Minion was glad he’d left the kitchen.

“It’s Metroman’s birthday tomorrow!”

“So you’re…?”

“Baking him a cake!”

Minion wondered if he’d heard wrong.

“Is it explosive?”

“With flavour? Yes.”

“So you’re just baking him a birthday cake? A normal one?”

There was another crash followed by a yelp. “Exactly!”

“So there’s no plan?”

“It’s the most diabolical plan! He’s going to sit there worrying and panicking about what could be wrong with the cake, but there’s nothing! It is **psychological **warfare.”

“Of course it is.”

Minion winced at the crash and Megamind was frazzled as he responded.

“Get me more candles!”

***

Minion frowned at the empty lab, sure that Megamind would be there. He took out his radio.

“Sir? Where are you? Shouldn’t you be planning the next capture?”

“I am in the depths of despair, Minion. I have decided to go to the park to wallow in my **melancholy**.”

“Sir-”

There was a sigh. “I’m evil, right? So I should gain pleasure from people suffering?”

Minion hesitated for the barest second. “That’s usually how it works.”

“So why aren’t I happy at my own suffering?”

Minion didn’t know how to answer that, only partially because he had no idea what that meant.

“Do you want to come back and blow up some stuff?”

“No, I think I’ll lie on the ground with the dirt and contemplate my role in the universe.” 

“Don’t forget sunscreen!”

“It’s in my bag.”

Minion set to tidying up, enjoying the time alone, and was startled when, a few hours later, the door slammed open and Megamind entered. Minion opened his mouth to speak, but Megamind walked past him and straight to his room. Minion waited and then his radio crackled.

“Code I hate them.”

“Code what happened?”

“I was trying to wallow and then they just showed up and started strangling me!”

“What?!”

“And they didn’t even do it right! They ignored my neck and just… wrapped their arms around me, it was revolting.”

“I’m- I’m sorry, sir?”

“I hate them, Minion.”

“I know, sir.”

Megamind’s voice was small on the comm. “Code what if I don’t hate them?”

***

Minion was woken up in the middle of the night by the comm.

“Can you hear me?”

He fumbled in the dark for the radio, voice tired as he answered.

“Yes, sir, I’m here.”

“There’s someone outside!”

Minion got up slowly, trying to figure out if this was an emergency or just Megamind.

“Do you see them?”

“No I just heard a rustling. Bring me guns!”

“You got it, sir!”

He rushed off to do as bid and when he arrived at Megamind’s door he got ready to burst in. He stopped, though, at the sound of voices from inside.

“Metroman! I should’ve known it would be you!”

Minion was honestly not surprised to hear the superhero respond. “Megamind! I finished it!”

“What, your plan for my **demise**?”

“The only demise I want, is of your inhibitions.”

“What?”

Then Metroman started singing and it was anything but super.

“_I have eyes that can see right through lead_

_And right into your heart_

_My strength may be super, but it’s not as strong_

_As my feelings_

_For you_!”

Minion wished he could cover his ears at the last, piercing note. Deciding his boss was fine, he dropped the guns and went back to his room to regain his hearing. Not long after, his radio crackled again.

“It’s not fair that Metroman has to be good at _everything_.”

Minion wondered if his hearing _was _gone. Or maybe Megamind’s was.

“Uh, right.”

“Code I hate him.”

“Code I know.”

A pause.

“Code I don’t hate him.”

“Code I know.”

***

Minion was trying to repair the dehydrator, but was struggling with a couple of the wires. He fumbled for the comm.

“Sir?”

There was no answer.

“Sir, Code I need your help with something.”

Still no answer.

Grumbling to himself, Minion put the device down and went in search of Megamind. The door to his room wasn’t fully closed, so it creaked open when he knocked.

There on the bed lay Megamind. Next to him was Metroman, whose arms were wrapped around him. On the other side was Roxanne, hair fluffy and head buried between Megamind’s shoulders. They were all fast asleep and snoring softly. Well, Metroman less softly, but the other two didn’t seem to mind. They each had a small smile on their face and Minion knew he probably had the same, a warm happiness spreading through him.

He closed the door with a gentle _snick_ and whispered, “Code you love them.”

***

**Author's Note:**

> Effects from freesound.org ([x](https://freesound.org/people/Iceofdoom/sounds/436444/), [x](https://freesound.org/people/apolloaiello/sounds/347761/), [x](https://freesound.org/people/oneOddEgg/sounds/369633/), [x](https://freesound.org/people/lolamadeus/sounds/144168/), [x](https://freesound.org/people/Dariachic/sounds/125658/), [x](https://freesound.org/people/AlienXXX/sounds/246545/))


End file.
